We talk about decision fatigue in home renovation and custom building, and why it catches so many homeowners off guard. The core issue is mental exhaustion. People already have full lives before a project starts, and then they are asked to make a long series of choices over many months. Some of those choices are big, like layout and room count. Others show up during construction and feel urgent. That steady pressure wears people down.
In a build or renovation, these are not simple or neutral decisions. They are emotional, personal, and often unfamiliar. Clients are making choices that affect how they will live every day, even though most of them are not used to thinking in this way. A question like where to put the laundry room can sound small, but it carries long term consequences. Decision fatigue can also look different depending on personality. Some people feel better once a choice is made. Others feel safer when they keep options open. Some research every detail. Others want to move quickly. In many couples, those styles do not match, which adds another layer to the process.
A strong process helps. Good design work does not begin with finish selections. It starts with the big picture, then moves gradually toward details. Marilyn compares that to circling lower and lower before landing a plane. We also stress the value of an enthusiastic yes. A "tired yes" is not enough. If clients agree just to move on, that choice often comes back later as regret.
We also compare custom homes, production homes, and the messy space in between. Production builders often limit options, which can reduce stress and protect people from bad combinations. A true custom process offers more freedom, but it also demands more time, trust, and guidance. The biggest problem comes when people are pushed into a semi custom process without real support. They are sent from showroom to showroom to make connected decisions without anyone holding the full vision together.
We close by saying that decision fatigue is normal, even with a strong team. The goal is not to remove every choice. The goal is to guide people through them. We help by shaping the process, narrowing options, explaining what matters most, and reminding clients what can still change later. Most of all, we keep bringing them back to the bigger picture of the home they are building and the life they want to live in it.
(00:00) Introduction
(00:22) What decision fatigue really means
(00:59) Why homeowners underestimate the number of choices
(02:12) Why these decisions feel so hard
(03:12) Emotion, personality, and overthinking
(03:45) Different decision making styles in couples
(05:21) How architects and designers help
(05:38) Why the process starts with big decisions
(08:05) The need for an enthusiastic yes
(08:48) Why process improves design decisions
(09:54) Adapting the process to each client
(11:38) Custom homes versus production builders
(14:13) The problem with semi custom without guidance
(17:08) How to reduce decision fatigue during the project
(19:21) Which choices matter most and which can change later
(20:54) Outro
Speakers: Sheri Scott & Marilyn Moedinger
Sheri Scott (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to a snack-sized episode of Home: The Second Story. I'm Sheri Scott from Springhouse Architects in Cincinnati.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:10):
And I'm Marilyn Moedinger from Runcible Studios in Lancaster, Pennsylvania and Boston, Massachusetts.
Today, we're talking about a topic that comes up all the time: decision fatigue.
Sheri Scott (00:22):
The topic comes up – most people don't label it that. Sometimes they don't identify it.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:30):
So, what is it, Sheri? What is decision fatigue?
Sheri Scott (00:34):
So, many damn decisions to make, oh my God. Honestly, it's one of the reasons why I have not built my own house.I mean, I know-
Marilyn Moedinger (00:46):
True confessions!
Sheri Scott (00:47):
… exactly what it takes, and it's a lot. And I just know I don't have the capacity right now with working and doing all the things we're doing, so it can consume you.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:59):
Yes, I think ultimately the number of decisions that have to be made on a renovation or a new build, most people have no idea or they underestimate it, or they're like, “Oh, well, how hard can it be? I just pick a faucet and a bathtub and a shower thing and some tile and I'm done with the bathroom.” And no, it's not that.Not on a custom home, not on a custom home.
Sheri Scott (01:28):
And it really, at the bottom line, is just mental exhaustion because all of our clients have a lot going on (chuckles). They have a lot going on.They're pulled in many directions. And then this gets on top of it because they have a full life before they start this project. And it's just too many choices.And it lasts a very long time. The project does.
So, it's not like, okay, I'm going to buckle down for two weeks and make all these decisions, it just does not happen that way. Because there are decisions about selections and we can control that, but then kind of the everyday decisions that come up in construction, I think, is kind of the tipping point.
Marilyn Moedinger (02:12):
It would be one thing if all these decisions were in their wheelhouse. Like if it was in their professional world or something like that, where they're used to making all these decisions, they understand the content, they understand the implications. But in this world, in the world of renovating or building a house, they're new to it.
Usually, they haven't done it before. They've only done it once or that kind of thing or maybe they had a bad experience before.And so, they're coming to this and I'm asking a question like should the laundry be upstairs or downstairs? Which seems like a really simple question, but then it's like, oh, well, if it's upstairs, that's where all the laundry is made but if it's downstairs, that's where I am. And I'm working in the kitchen and I'm doing stuff, and so, then I can quickly change a load out.
Well, what if I have two sets of laundry machines? Well, that seems excessive, well ba-da-ba-da-pa-ra. So, we're asking people to think about things that are outside their technical and everyday wheelhouse, and we're asking them to make decisions that have long-term implications. Like if you put the laundry on the wrong floor, it's annoying.
Sheri Scott (03:12):
Yes, and emotional decisions. Like the whole process is very emotional because you're doing it for your family. And like you said, every day you're going to have to deal with it.And it also has to do with people's personalities. If they can make a decision and get it out of their mind and just mark it off the list or if they make a decision and then ruminate about it and rethink it and overthink it, and come back to it so many times, all of those things add up.
Marilyn Moedinger (03:45):
It's true. And I think one of the first steps that we take with our clients is to start to help them understand what kind of decision maker they are. So, if we say we kind of have some conversations about when do you feel most at peace?
When you have not made the decision because you haven't committed and your options are open and that feels more comfortable to you, or after you've made the decision because now you don't have to think about it anymore. So, those are two types of decision makers.
Are you a researcher?You have to know absolutely everything before you make the decision, or are you a, “Oh, yeah, that's fine. Just get it done, just move on.” And then what is your partner? So, usually, there's a couple that we're working with, and those two decision-making styles of those two partners might be different (laughs).
Sheri Scott (04:39):
Quite often are different. Yes, yes.
Marilyn Moedinger (04:42):
So, I think whether you're working with an architect or a designer who walks you through that initial sort of voyage of self-discovery or not, you can ask yourself, hey, what kind of decision maker am I? How do we as a couple generally make decisions? How do we get to a point where we feel comfortable about making it a big decision?
Like which car to buy or how to handle things with the kids or whatever – big decisions that require discussion. How does that work otherwise in your relationship? And I think that's a good, strong starting point.
Sheri Scott (05:21):
Yeah, it is. Just to know yourself and your partner. So, once we have all of that established, like we know what it is, we know how people interact with us, with each other, with the contractor, how they make decisions, how can we help them?
Marilyn Moedinger (05:38):
The way that I do in my practice, and I think you're probably similar, is we don't ask for all of the decisions on day one. So, we're not fire hosing you on day one.
[Laughter]
And we're working in sort of the picture I … or the way I describe it to my clients is imagine an airplane that's circling that airport coming in for a landing, like the first circle is at 30,000 feet, the next one is at 20,000 feet - I recognize this is not how airplanes actually work.
Sheri Scott (06:10):
(Laughs) I was like, “Is that what they do?”
Marilyn Moedinger (06:12):
No, they definitely don't. But as a concept, like you're circling the airport, you're kind of zooming in.You're zooming in and then when we land the plane, we're not dropping from 30,000 feet down, like we're comfortably zooming in and zooming in and zooming in until we're ready to make a nice, smooth landing.
So, what that means for us is, obviously, at the very beginning, we're making decisions about the layout of the home. So, we're not starting with, what tile do you want on the backsplash? We're starting with, where is the kitchen in the house?How is the flow working through the house? How many bedrooms do you want? What are your priorities around the space, and those kinds of big questions?
And those questions are tough. Those are hard. People have been thinking about them for years, potentially, but now, I'm putting lines on paper so we have to know. So, you can't say, “Oh, I don't know, like four bedrooms, but maybe we're fine with two.”I'm like, okay, well-
Sheri Scott (07:11):
That's a big swing.
Marilyn Moedinger (07:11):
That's a big swing.
[laughter]
Sheri Scott (07:14):
It's interesting, Marilyn, because a lot of times when I think of decisions, I don't go all the way to the beginning. But you're right, it starts from the very first conversation and even before, because most of my clients come in knowing how many bedrooms, bathrooms, they've thought through all of that. And they've thought about what they want it to look like. So, they've already made a lot of decisions before they come in.
And then once you see it on paper, for a custom home anyway, you have to qualify those decisions or approve them. Like it goes through another like, are you sure this is what you want kind of thing. So, that's another way that you go over things more than once, which is kind of interesting.It starts from the very beginning.
Marilyn Moedinger (08:05):
It does. And I think that what I'm always looking for with my clients and what I tell them that we need to have is an enthusiastic yes.So, I need to have that yes that really means yes. I do not want the yes that is like, “Well, yeah, I guess so, fine.”
Because they're tired of talking about it or they want to move on or they're tired of me bothering them about it or whatever, because that's going to come back and haunt them. So, my job is to push them for the enthusiastic yes. Like if we're not there yet, it doesn't matter if it takes an extra two weeks right now.You're going to live in this home for 20 or 30 years. Two weeks now means nothing.
Sheri Scott (08:48):
The whole idea of having a process, too, helps. So, your analogy with the airplane is similar to we do big decisions first, and then you kind of funnel down.Like the example, most of my clients don't come in day one saying, “I want this, the kitchen backsplash,” and then we design around that. I guess you could, but there is a process to it.
There's a process that makes it easier.There's a process that makes your decisions better. Because just for instance, I tell my clients, if you want any natural materials, we pick those first because those decisions, those choices are limited. And then we go into the man-made products and paint last. You can paint any paint color, always.
And the same is true when designing the house. You make the big decisions first, and then you keep narrowing and narrowing and narrowing down to the details.
Marilyn Moedinger (09:54):
Yeah, exactly. And also, about that is that process, while we have that process organized on our side, it's loosely held. It's not rigid because we are working in a custom manner.So, every client is a little bit different. And so, part of my job is to learn my clients and tailor the process to them as much as I can.
I mean, I can't change the realities of the way the design process works generally or I can't change gravity or building code or these things.But what we can do is if someone's really excited to talk about the kitchen, but they really don't care about the bathroom or whatever it is, then I need to tailor my process to that.
So, that means that I still need all the decisions for the spaces they don't care about as much. So, I have to figure out how to either get them to care or present them with stuff that they can just sign off on because they're like, look, it's fine.We're fine with what you're choosing or whatever.
So, I think that's another thing, is some clients when they come in the door, like, “Okay, well, what's your step by step-by-step process?” And I'm like, well, I can tell you generally, but honestly, it's going to come down to the individual person I'm working with, because they're going to respond to certain things more or less than another person.
Sheri Scott (11:22):
Right, right. And sometimes it's nice to present some lob, what do you call them? Softballs.Give them some softballs that you can cross off the list because that feels good too.
Marilyn Moedinger (11:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
Sheri Scott (11:38):
So, the process you were describing and more of what I was talking about is really when you're working on a custom home, when you make all of the design decisions, all of the selections-
Marilyn Moedinger (11:49):
The finishes.
Sheri Scott (11:50):
The finishes, everything. But then there's another side where a production builder or a semi-custom builder. So, a production builder, the process is very controlled, I would say. You get to choose from two different brick colors, five different siding colors, three countertops and two different cabinets.And you sign off on all of that before they dig a hole. So, I can see pros and cons to that process (laughs).
Because they've built so many of them and they know what goes together. They know what's going to look nice. They don't give you options that are crazy or that you're going to make a huge mistake on. So, there's definitely room in the industry for that process. I think it's well thought out.
Marilyn Moedinger (12:46):
Well, I think also that goes back to knowing yourself. And if you know that maybe A, you're a decision maker who it's going to be really, really overwhelming to make the literal tens of thousands of decisions that need to be made, even though you have us guiding you through like you're not alone.
But if that sounds really, really terrible or scary or you know that that's just not for you, then a production builder process could be a much better fit for you.And there's nothing wrong with that. What can be tricky is when someone goes into a production builder process and expects the custom level, or when someone comes to a custom process and expects the production sort of level of quickness.
Sheri Scott (13:27):
Expectations. Good point. Good point.
Marilyn Moedinger (13:32):
And then I would also say about production building – you're not getting the same level of custom care.So, you're still the well-built house with-
Sheri Scott (13:43):
It's a different animal.
Marilyn Moedinger (13:44):
It's a totally different thing. You're going to get something that looks pretty much like everything else in the neighborhood or everything else that they build, which could be just fine. There's nothing wrong with that.
And also, what we offer our clients and what a custom process means is that it's all on the table. So, if you want to do something completely different, you can, because that's what we're offering.
Sheri Scott (14:13):
And the problem that I've heard more often is that in-between. People that are doing production homes, they understand what they're doing, what they're getting, it's well-defined.And then true custom homes, luxury homes, high-end stuff, they know. I feel like their expectations are … my clients know what they're getting into and what they will get out of it.
The in-between really annoys me in our industry. And I would say the in-between are the custom builders, who it is a kind of a semi-custom home. Sometimes they have house plans and you can alter them, move a couple of walls and sometimes they have a plan.
You can kind of redo everything and they actually take you to a designer or draftsman or sometimes an architect. But when it really falls apart, are the builders that don't have systems for making selections.Because now you're in this custom home realm where you're making the thousand decisions that you need to make, but nobody is guiding you through.
Marilyn Moedinger (15:24):
Nobody's guiding you through.
Sheri Scott (15:25):
They're literally sending you to the appliance guy. They're sending you to the cabinet lady. They're sending you to the tile shop.And you're supposed to (chuckles) describe your entire project, take your plans with you, pick out things that … does the kitchen hang with the primary bathroom? Does not have to copy, but you want it to feel like it's in the same house.
And that's when I get frustrated about it because people don't realize what they're heading into,and that creates a lot of decision fatigue.
Marilyn Moedinger (16:02):
I agree with that 100%. I'll add to that with the fact that not only are people in that situation at the tile shop trying to pick out the tile from an aesthetic standpoint, they're now there trying to understand from a technical standpoint what they need to do.
Sheri Scott (16:19):
And hopefully, they have a good person that works at the tile shop, but it may just be a guy with a weekend gig.
Marilyn Moedinger (16:27):
Exactly. And even if that person is really technically savvy and can explain all of the reasons why you might choose a ceramic versus a natural stone versus a porcelain versus whatever, they're not thinking about it cohesively, coherently with the rest of the project. So, they're just zeroed in on this tile doing this thing and not having that person.
So, a custom builder is not a designer. A custom builder is a custom builder.
Marilyn Moedinger (17:04):
Well, let's just say this, that when a custom builder says design is included, well, exactly what are you getting?
Sheri Scott (17:05):
Yeah, find out.
Marilyn Moedinger (17:08):
Exactly. And I think to kind of bring it back to that feeling of decision fatigue, so we've talked through a bunch of different scenarios where you may or may not be thrust into various realms of ways that you have to make decisions. No matter what, no matter how good your team is, no matter how good you are at making decisions, you will, as a homeowner, get tired of making decisions (laughs).
So, maybe we take our last few minutes and just say, how do we help our clients through that? How can people get through that and maintain their sanity?
Sheri Scott (17:44):
Yeah, I feel like the way my company helps people is that we do have a process and we lead them through it. So, they're not fumbling their way through. They're not making the decision of what decision do you have to make, so we lead them through it.
Depending on the personality of the client, we can bring three options to them, or we can go shopping with them at the tile shop. Decisions of design, of course, is an iterative process back and forth.
You give me all of your hopes and dreams and priorities and all those things, and it ends up on paper and then it starts going back and forth and back and forth until we get it to where it's supposed to be. So, I would say that you still have all of the decisions to make. We do not take that responsibility on, but we guide you through it.
Marilyn Moedinger (18:40):
Yeah, I mean, I often describe myself as a decision sherpa. I know I've said it on here before, but my job is to help carry the load up the mountain. I've done it many, many times.And that's a big part of what my role is.
And I would say as far as that tiredness or the fatigue or the irritation or the annoyance that comes with having … you're deep in the process, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. So, some things I say to my clients is, “I have never not finished a project.We will finish this.”
Sheri Scott (19:14):
We will get to the finish line.
Marilyn Moedinger (19:16):
And in six months or a year or whatever it is, I will be a distant memory.
Sheri Scott (19:21):
Right, which is why we talk to people a year later in the interviews.
Marilyn Moedinger (19:26):
Yeah, so this will all be this sort of distant, hazy memory, like childbirth. Like if everyone remembered all the details, it would be a world full of only children. So, same thing, so this will all be a distant memory.
And the other thing is that then I also try to explain to people when are decisions that are really irreversible and we really need to double down and get those right, and when are things able to be changed later?Paint, super easy. You get it wrong, repaint it. It doesn't matter.But the kitchen cabinets, we want to get those right.
So, helping to kind of parse out which decisions I really, really need them to be part of. But I would say the last thing too that we do is remind them.So, deep in the construction and the dark days of like just the house is a mess, everything feels really overwhelming, let's just take a look back at those renderings that we all loved.
Let's just remind ourselves what we're building. Let's go back and say, “Hey, this is where we're headed. This isn't just some goal that we might reach.This is where we are going. And this is what's on the horizon for you. We just got to get there.We just got to get there. And we always do, right?
Sheri Scott (20:48):
Yes, always do. Very nice. I think that's a good ender.
Marilyn Moedinger (20:53):
Alright. Well, thanks for joining us today on Home: The Second Story for a quick snack. If you have questions for us, or topics you'd like us to cover, or if you're interested in being a guest, reach out at admin@htsspodcast.com, and follow us on Instagram. And see you next time.
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