Today. we talk about regrets—specifically, the kinds of regrets homeowners have after a renovation or new home build—and why having some level of imperfection is inevitable. We start by setting expectations. There is no such thing as a perfect project, and believing that a renovation will magically make life perfect only sets people up for disappointment. Design and construction happen in the real world, which is messy, imperfect, and constantly changing. Giving yourself grace from the beginning is essential.
We explain that most regrets are avoidable if you have the right team, a thoughtful process, and clear communication. One of the biggest regrets we hear again and again is not doing enough at once. Many homeowners try to phase projects, only to wish later that they had just “ripped the band-aid off.” Construction never gets cheaper, and partially finished homes often feel awkward, both to live in and eventually to sell. If you’re going to do it, do it—or don’t start at all.
Another common regret comes from making decisions just to “check a box,” whether for resale value or because it’s what people think they’re supposed to do. We talk about examples like double vanities, formal dining rooms, or specific layouts that don’t actually match how people live. When design choices aren’t aligned with real daily habits, regret often follows. The same goes for getting hung up on price per square foot instead of focusing on what spaces actually matter.
We also warn against chasing trends, especially those driven by social media. By the time a project is built, today’s trends are already outdated. Designing around micro-trends—or flashy technology that quickly becomes obsolete—often leads to regret. Timeless design principles, on the other hand, are based on how people move, gather, and live, and those fundamentals don’t change.
We stress the importance of designing not just for your life today, but for future phases as well—kids growing up, changing family dynamics, and aging in place. Another major theme is trust: trust in your architect, designer, and builder, and trust in the process. Even with 3D renderings and walkthroughs, there will always be elements you can’t fully visualize ahead of time.
Finally, we emphasize speaking up. Nearly every past guest has said their biggest regret was not voicing concerns during the process. It’s never too late to ask questions or revisit decisions—until the project is over and you’ve moved in. Strong communication, a good team, and clear goals make it possible to finish a project feeling proud instead of regretful. Renovation is a roller coaster, but with the right support, it can still be joyful.
(00:00) Welcome & What This Episode Is About
(01:20) Letting Go of “Perfect” Expectations
(02:50) The #1 Regret: Not Doing Enough at Once
(05:15) Checking Boxes vs. How You Really Live
(06:55) Big Decisions vs. Small, Fixable Ones
(08:55) Social Media, Trends, and Timeless Design
(10:55) Designing for Future Life Stages
(12:30) Technology Regrets & Obsolescence
(14:05) Limits of Renderings and 3D Visuals
(15:25) Speak Up or Regret It Later
(17:00) Regrets About the Construction Process
(18:45) Fewer Regrets with the Right Team
(19:47) Final Thoughts & Listener Invitation
Voiceover (00:02):
Everyone says how horrible it'll be to renovate or build your house, we're here to say, it doesn't have to be that way. Join three seasoned architects as they interview homeowners who recently completed a large project and ask them one simple question: what do you know now that you wish you knew before you started?
Welcome to Home: The Second Story Podcast.
Sheri Scott (00:25):
Hi everyone, and welcome to a snack sized episode of Home: The Second Story. I'm Sheri Scott from Springhouse Architects in Cincinnati, Ohio, and I am with my co-hosts.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:37):
I'm Marilyn Moedinger with Runcible Studios based in Boston, Massachusetts and Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
Taylor Davis (00:43):
And I am Taylor Davis from TPD Architecture and Design in Birmingham.
Sheri Scott (00:47):
We are talking about personal regrets.
Taylor Davis (00:54):
Well, not just blanket personal regrets. Like personal regrets that have to do with your home.
Sheri Scott (00:55):
Only in home building.
Taylor Davis (00:57):
Not like I really wish that I hadn't gotten that apartment in 1997.
[Laughter]
Marilyn Moedinger (01:04):
Regrets related to your renovation and or your new home build.
Sheri Scott (01:08):
Exactly. This is not like a whole reveal from your hosts here.
Marilyn Moedinger (01:13):
That's right.
Taylor Davis (01:13):
Although I could go deep with that, but-
Marilyn Moedinger (01:15):
We’ll save that for like-
Taylor Davis (01:17):
It's that pair of shoes I bought. Yeah, there's a lot.
Sheri Scott (01:21):
It is one of those things that we hate hearing, is that at the end of a project that you have some regrets of decisions you made, but there are just so many decisions to make that certainly, there's going to be something that you're like, “Oh, could have done better with that.”
Taylor Davis (01:39):
There is no such thing as perfect. And if your expectations are that everything is going to be perfect and your life is going to be perfect as a result of your renovation or addition, that's unrealistic expectations.
And I want to release you and give you grace for those who are listening from those expectations, because there is not a person in the world who ends up with perfection. It's impossible. So, just … grace.
Marilyn Moedinger (02:07):
It's true. And I think setting those expectations, construction and design and your home, all these things exist in the real world. The real world's kind of messy, and things don't always line up literally or figuratively. So, I think that's an important baseline.
And also, I think the three of us are really strong believers that you can get through a project and get to the other side with very few regrets if you play things right, if you've got the right team, and if you're thinking through things carefully. So, I think what we're talking about today is how to maybe have as few regrets as possible (laughs).
I think some of the things that we hear that people regret (maybe that's a good place to start) – is to say, what are some of the things we hear? Someone might say, “I really hate that tile that I chose, or I really wish I would have done this or that.”
I would say the number one regret that I hear from my own clients, which now I tell to all my current clients, they're the ones who I'm working through projects now; the number one thing they always say, they wish they would've done more in their renovation.
Taylor Davis (03:16):
Yeah, I was just about to say that. They wish that they had not stopped.
Marilyn Moedinger (03:20):
Just get it done, just get it done. And so, I took this advice with my own renovation where I was going to phase it and I was going to do this, and then later I was going to do that, and I was like, you know what, rip the band aid off, get a slightly bigger loan. That's not a decision to take lightly, but get more done at once.
And everyone I talk to is like we did the whole house and we didn't finish the attic, let's just get it done now. We're going to have to wait two years and the guys are going to be traipsing through, and now, we're going to go through construction again.
Taylor Davis (03:53):
And construction is never cheaper.
Marilyn Moedinger (03:55):
It's never cheaper.
Taylor Davis (03:56):
It doesn't get cheaper.
Marilyn Moedinger (03:58):
Best time to do a project, today or 10 years ago.
Taylor Davis (04:01):
Today.
[Laughter]
Marilyn Moedinger (04:01):
Not tomorrow. So, that's the number one regret I hear. I don't know, sounds like Taylor, you've heard that too.
Taylor Davis (04:08):
In fact, I just had a conversation with a couple yesterday and the project doesn't exist yet. We were just sort of walking through the house, doing the hand waving and sort of figuring out what's possible and what’s not. And my leave behind with them was like, look, you either need to do all of this or do none of this.
Because it's going to be weird if you halfway do it because if you do sell the house in 15 years or whatever, everybody's going to be like, “Well, why didn't you finish this part? You did all this other stuff, why didn't you finish this? Or why didn't you use that material?” Or whatever that is. So, that is the takeaway and it's also the advice. Like if you're going to do it, do it.
Sheri Scott (04:50):
That's great advice and that you guys have the clear communication with your clients is really good because I think some architects, designers, they want to make their clients happy and say, “Oh yeah, we can phase that and work really hard to figure out how to pull it all apart.”
And we will do that if your ultimate decision is to do that, but to give them the real deal and say, look, “I've done this a lot,” and most people regret it when they pull it apart and piecemeal it. That's good.
Marilyn Moedinger (05:22):
Yeah, I think the other thing that I would say that I hear is a regret often is doing things that are about checking the box, whether it's for resale value or whether it's for, this is what you should have.
So, for example, a double vanity in the master bathroom. That's what you should have according to “experts,” (Zillow). But it's your house, you don't have to have one. If you say, well, a double vanity is not something that we would use, don't do it, because I want more counter space, so I only want one sink.
Or are you really standing next to each other in five feet of space, brushing teeth? You're going to knock the other person out with your elbow. If you only have five feet of space, only put one sink. And that's a very specific example, but this idea of, well, we had to do this because that's “what you do,” and then realizing it doesn't match up with the way that that person actually lives or wants to live. You have to align it with how you live.
Sheri Scott (06:30):
There's so many examples like that. For us, a dining room, a living room, how big your garage is. Do you have a two story or everything on one story? There are so many decisions and those are big. There are big regrets and there are small regrets.
Marilyn, you mentioned tile choice. Okay, you go crazy on a tile and you're like, “Eh, I didn't love that.” Well, in a couple years you can rip that out and redo it.
Marilyn Moedinger (06:59):
Rip it out, it’s easy.
Sheri Scott (07:00):
Not a big deal, but spend time on the big things. And I consider the big things, the things you can't change easily: size of the house. One of the big regrets I hear from my process is people come in and … and this is a whole another big story, but the per square foot price.
So, they come in and they say, I want a house that's 2,500 square feet because the builder said it's $300 a square foot and we can only afford $750,000. Well, every square foot is not the same. And if I could design a 2000 square foot house or 2200 square foot house with all the things that you want, and it still costs $750,000, it may be nicer.
Or if really, the list you're giving me is a 2,800 square foot house, well, then there are other ways to make that fit in the budget too. Don't get hung up on a price per square foot and the size that your house needs to be.
Marilyn Moedinger (08:01):
That's great advice.
Taylor Davis (08:03):
I would say too, and it's along the lines of the things you have to have. I see lots of folks get hung up on what they see on social media, and then they realize that by the time they have built that and constructed it, they're seeing something else on social media, which is also already a year in the hopper.
So, I think the regret is that if you're seeing what today is trending and you built what was happening a year ago because it was trending then, you can feel some regret, something that you missed out. I should have done this, I should have added that cool pull out in a cabinet that stacks my kids' snacks, and now, I don't have that and I don't have a place to put it.
Well, all of that is fine, but if you get hung up on what you're seeing on social media every day, it is a source of endless regret. So, I would say trust your designer, trust your architect, trust your builder. They will help you escape the social media network and escape Instagram and Pinterest (most of those images are generated by AI anyway. Newsflash: don't look at them).
So, I think that we hear a lot of regret because sometimes people will go back and they'll be like, “Well, I should have painted it this color” or whatever, but just don't get hung up on it. If it speaks to you and it worked with your designer and they were intentional about it and you went through a process with them, it matters not one lick whoever influencer is posting about their house today.
Marilyn Moedinger (09:44):
That's right. I think the other thing that leads into is … because what you're talking about is the timelessness of design. So, not micro trends of like this is really-
Taylor Davis (09:54):
Oh yeah, you said that much better than I did. But yeah.
Marilyn Moedinger (09:58):
But a timeless quality of design or space making or whatever, there are certain aspects of making a house that are completely timeless. If you want two people to sit next to each other, you need X amount of space, that's timeless. That's just whatever. You want a table with people around it, that will require X amount of space. That is timeless. That's just math.
And I think the other thing about timelessness that's important that leads to regrets if people don't pay attention, is to not get hung up on where you are now in your life. So, I see this a lot. Most of my clients are people in a life transition because that's when you do renovations, that's when you move houses.
So, young families who are like, okay, we have two or three kids, we're done having kids, we're now ready to do the house for raising the kids and all that, or people downsizing. So, those are the two biggest groups of my clients, and I think probably for you guys as well, but people especially with young kids will get really focused on like, “Well, we need this. We need a playroom right here because if we don't have it …” because they have three and five-year-olds. Well, the playroom-
Sheri Scott (11:08):
Yeah, the toy storage.
Marilyn Moedinger (11:09):
The toy storage or whatever, and also, in 10 years, the kids aren't going to want to be in the playroom with a gate with funny toy storage. So, how do you build space that works for life now, for life with teenage kids, for empty nest life, and (Taylor, this tees up perfectly for so much of the work you do) for aging in place.
So, if you're going to spend this much money on your house, a big regret that people have is not thinking ahead. And there's some things we can think ahead about and some things we just can't plan for. We don't know what technology will exist in 20 or 30 years, but we do know things like, well, yeah, you're probably going to have a different relationship with your family or your kids or that kind of thing. And that impacts how you design your house today, and when you imagine the future.
Taylor Davis (12:04):
I'm so glad you said that.
Sheri Scott (12:05):
I love that you mentioned technology. That's a big one. When people invest too much, all the shiny things, it's so fun, it's so fun, and I get it. I get the draw of that and some of the people that install those things are very good salesmen, and I hear a lot of regret for those types of things because it just changes so fast.
Marilyn Moedinger (12:33):
Like the fancy lighting systems or the home automation. Basically, all my clients, and a lot of my clients work in tech in Boston, and their homes are the least “techy” of all my clients.
Sheri Scott (12:44):
True, yes.
Marilyn Moedinger (12:45):
Because they're just like, there's no point.
Taylor Davis (12:47):
I have a funny story, which really doesn't have much to do with regret, but it does have a little bit to do with tech and how things change.
[Laughter]
Sheri Scott (12:52):
Classic Taylor.
Taylor Davis (12:53):
So, this just happened yesterday-
Marilyn Moedinger (12:55):
A Taylor tangent.
Taylor Davis (12:56):
This just happened yesterday. We went and did a punch list, and we had done this new kitchen, and I told one of our team members to look at the “befores” of the original kitchen, which had been done, I don't know, ‘94 was the last time the kitchen had been done, and my team is a lot younger than I am.
And they looked at this lowered area of countertop in the kitchen, and they were like, “What is that?” And I was like, “It's a desk.” And they were like, “There's a desk in the kitchen?” I was like, “For the computer, like everybody had a desk for the computer.”
[Laughter]
Sheri Scott (13:34):
For all the bills …
Taylor Davis (13:35):
And they were like, “There was one computer?” I was like, okay, I recognize that I'm ancient and over the hill, but there was a significant period of time where everybody had a kitchen desk, and it was literary the home center system and you wanted to be able to see your kids and what they were doing on the computer. You didn't want it in there. And that was before everybody had a phone anyway.
I just thought that was such a funny how tech can drive a design and it can feel so obsolete within a certain period of time. So, going back to timelessness, but it was such a funny thing. I was like, “You don't know what that is?” Anyway, it made feel old (chuckles).
Sheri Scott (14:06):
So, one thing I've seen in my practice that has changed very recently is that now we can do so many renderings and things in 3D and walkthroughs, and we love that for our clients because I feel like they understand so much more than they used to.
The catch is there's only so much that we can render. I mean, you can pay us for days and days and days to make everything exactly the way it's going to show up, but at some point, if you want to stop paying overages to us, then there's only so much that we can render and only so much that we can show you in 3D.
So, I guess my advice to our listeners is be clear on what is included in the price of what we can do in 3D and show you, and understand how realistic that's going to look. Because there are some leaps of faith that you need to make and some trust that you need to put in the hands of your designer, your builder, your architect, that you're not necessarily going to be able to see everything a hundred percent the way it's going to be.
Marilyn Moedinger (15:24):
Absolutely, and this leads to one of the sort of regrets or pieces of advice that I feel like our guests have said over and over and over. Almost every single one has said, speak up. If there's something that you're unsure about, if there's something you don't like, if there's something you've chosen but now you feel like you want to go back on it and you're not sure, speak up or else you will have a regret later, you will regret not saying it.
And that's what we're here for. We are, as design professionals and architects and long-term construction industry people, we have obviously a strong sense of being able to read our clients and understand (that's a big part of our job) – but we're not mind readers. So, if you have any sort of whatever, you have to bring it up or you're going to regret it, and you won't sound stupid.
People feel like, well, I just sound stupid or is this a dumb question or I know I already asked this, or I know I've changed the tile three times. Can I change it fourth time? Yep, you can. That's what I'm here for. I'm here to be your resource, I'm here to ensure that you can ask those questions.
And I've definitely been with clients where they asked something and it felt late in the game to make a change, but when it's really late in the game is when we're all gone and you've moved in. That's when it's late in the game.
Taylor Davis (16:47):
Exactly, right.
Marilyn Moedinger (16:48):
So, just that's my advice, like underline 12 times. If you have concerns, bring it up. It's okay, you don't want to have that regret that you just didn't bring it up at all.
Taylor Davis (17:00):
I would say the only other regret that comes up is not a regret about what the finished product was, but some people have regrets about the process and what they did or didn't do during the process of construction.
And one of the ones we get back a lot was, “I wish we'd kept you on through construction until the end, because when we got to punch list or getting to punch list, not having that third party was hard on us,” like we've talked about before.
The end can be really difficult of a project, getting to finish line. And sometimes having that third party there to help push things along and make sure that things are there and the stuff has been ordered and all that sort of stuff. Just like the cabinet knobs that have been selected, are they here yet? Asking those kinds of questions regularly takes some of the pressure off of them.
So, we've had several folks who have come back and said … that service I saw it was either that we started and then they decided they didn't want to do it anymore, which I don't recommend, but they wish that we had stayed on or that they had had another design professionals stay on through construction.
Sheri Scott (18:12):
Yeah, that's good, Taylor.
Marilyn Moedinger (18:13):
I think as we wrap up here, that's one of the main themes, is if you have good communication with your spouse, your family, your team, whatever – if you have clear goals and visions, if you have a really good team that you can bring these things up with that you trust, then you're going to have fewer regrets because you've got a good process, you've got people you trust you can bring up. You can have the hard conversations about, “Oh, I know I picked that tile, but can I change it again?” Absolutely.
And that sort underlying foundation, so to speak (architecture joke) [Laughter] means that you will ultimately have fewer regrets. And I think that's been born out in our own experience over the last few decades, frankly, and also, our guests. We've just heard that over and over.
So, we don't have to end on a note of you will have regrets and everything will be terrible. That's kind of the gist of what we're trying to say here, is it doesn't have to be like that. This whole thing, building a house or doing a renovation doesn't have to be a thing where you have a list of regrets at the end.
Taylor Davis (19:18):
No, we don't want it to be sort of regretful and sorrowful and sad. It should be joyful and exciting, and something that you’re thrilled with.
Marilyn Moedinger (19:25):
Yeah, like a roller coaster. So, it's a little scary going up and down, but you're not going to die. You're not flying off. You're strapped in, I got you.
Taylor Davis (19:34):
I don’t know, there’re days-
Marilyn Moedinger (19:35):
You know what I mean? It might be a little bit unnerving. You're kind of upside down sometimes, but it's okay. You're strapped in, you're fine. We got you (laughs). On that note …
Sheri Scott (19:47):
Good stuff. So, thank you. Thanks for joining us today on Home: The Second Story for a quick snack. If you have questions for us or topics that you'd like us to cover, and especially if you're interested in being a guest, we would love to hear your stories. Reach out at admin@htsspodcast.com.
Thanks, guys. See you next time.
Voiceover (20:09):
Thanks for listening to Home: The Second Story Podcast. Feel free to share this episode with a friend. Contact information for all three of our architects are in our show notes, and don't miss future episodes.
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