Choosing the right builder is one of the most critical — and most misunderstood — parts of any renovation or new home project: . We talk through how this decision can dramatically shape the project experience and why it's not just about cost. Across our different markets — from Boston to Cincinnati to Birmingham — we each see a range of approaches homeowners take when it comes to builder selection. But no matter where you are, the principles of making a smart choice are the same.
We agree that builder selection should be intentional, not impulsive. Too often, people pick a builder after a ten-minute walkthrough because the house looked nice or the builder seemed friendly. That’s not enough. We encourage clients to think of this as a relationship — because that’s what it becomes. It’s not a transaction. It's a yearlong (or longer) collaboration involving trust, communication, and alignment. That’s why we recommend interviewing multiple builders, asking real questions, checking references, and even trusting your gut. The builder’s personality, responsiveness, and willingness to engage early in the process all matter.
We also talk about timing. Bringing a builder in early — even before the drawings are complete — creates what we call “front-end alignment.” This helps avoid surprises later and allows the team to sync scope and budget from day one. We stress the importance of looking at qualifications rather than just price and why the lowest bid often hides inflated costs down the road. At the same time, gut-check pricing helps homeowners feel confident that the budget is grounded in reality, especially in markets where pricing varies wildly.
Finally, we remind listeners to ask tough questions: How did the builder finish past projects? Were there cost overruns? Did they communicate well? We also share red flags — like a builder who only tells you what you want to hear, or one unwilling to revisit questionable subcontractor bids. In short, selecting a builder isn’t about luck — it’s a process. And done right, it sets the tone for a successful, less stressful project.
(00:00) Intro: Why Builder Selection Matters
(01:08) Do You Start with Architect or Builder?
(02:15) Risks of Rushing the Decision
(03:36) Using Architect Networks for Builder Vetting
(05:01) Importance of Early Alignment
(08:00) How to Interview Builders Effectively
(09:41) Questions to Ask Builder References
(11:00) Trusting Your Gut in the Process
(13:02) Red Flags to Watch for in Builder Behavior
(14:47) Understanding Unrealistic Allowances
(16:20) Price vs. Personality in Builder Selection
(18:36) The Role of Gut-Check Pricing
(20:00) Negotiating Subcontractor Bids
(20:59) Wrap-Up and How to Reach Out
Second Story Snack - The Right Builder
Speakers: Marilyn Moedinger, Sheri Scott & Taylor Davis
[Music Playing]
Voiceover (00:02):
Everyone says how horrible it'll be to renovate or build your house, we're here to say, it doesn't have to be that way. Join three seasoned architects as they interview homeowners who recently completed a large project, and ask them one simple question: what do you know now that you wish you knew before you started?
Welcome to Home: The Second Story Podcast.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:26):
Hi, and welcome to a snack size episode of Home: The Second Story. I'm Marilyn Moedinger from Runcible Studios, located in Lancaster, Pennsylvania and Boston, Massachusetts. And today, I'm with …
Sheri Scott (00:37):
Sheri Scott with Springhouse Architects in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Taylor Davis (00:42):
And I am Taylor Davis with TPD Architecture and Design in Birmingham, Alabama.
Marilyn Moedinger (00:47):
Alright, well let's dive in. So, today, we are talking about a topic that we've heard a lot of people over the years need some help with, and it is selecting the right builder. So, whether you work with an architect or not, how you do your project, who's the designer, all that stuff, okay, but you need the builder who's actually building it.
Sheri Scott (01:08):
So, one thing that I talk to my clients about a lot is who you start with. Do you start with the architect or designer, or do you start with the builder? And I've found that it's geographically different. So, in my area, a lot of people actually start with the builder. They will go through a model home, something to that effect or a HOMEARAMA, which is our kind of parade of homes here in the Midwest.
Taylor Davis (01:37):
HOMEARAMA, I'm going to use that (laughs).
[Laughter]
Marilyn Moedinger (01:42):
We have parade of homes. HOMEARAMA is way more fun.
Taylor Davis (01:45):
Way more fun.
Sheri Scott (01:47):
So, they'll go in and they'll meet this builder one time on a walkthrough and have 10 minutes with them and just think, “Well, he's a nice guy and it was a nice house, and I think I'll hire him to build my million-dollar house.”
And we need to go a little bit deeper than that, and that's the source of a lot of problems that I see is when people jump into bed with the builder a little too fast.
Marilyn Moedinger (02:15):
Yeah, exactly. I would agree with that. So, I'm in two markets. In Boston, most of the time people are coming to the architect first. And because usually what they do is if they're doing a renovation, which is most of my work in Boston, because most of Boston's already built already. So, they'll try to figure out what's the first step in their project, they might call the building department or look up if they need a permit. The very first thing that happens is we need drawings.
So, they will approach the architect first. So, a lot of times something that we do for our clients anywhere we're working is we help people through the builder selection process. And part of what that entails is … so obviously, I think you guys are the same, you have builders you've worked with over the years.
So, you have sort of a list of folks that have done great work for your clients in the past. And that's actually a really great asset that architects have. So, I can say, this guy's done 10 projects with me, with 10 clients, and here they are on my website. Here's the clients’ glowing reviews.
This is not a 10-minute conversation with a stranger; this is a guy who has done really great work for my clients in the past. That really helps give my clients peace of mind. And even when we're comparing what you should always compare, still that is a really important step in the vetting process.
Taylor Davis (03:36):
We get it sort of architect first, builder first. A lot of times if it's a renovation, they've already worked with a builder before. So, they call that builder and the builder says, “Well, you probably ought to call somebody for this one.” It's a little less cut and dry, and especially because for single family here in Alabama, nobody requires an architect to be on the project.
So, it's kind of a hodgepodge, but I'll say this, one of the things that is the most important in the selection process is actually when you make that selection. Because the information that you have is going to be more important or more fresh or more urgent in your mind depending on where you are in the process.
And that was kind of a convoluted way of saying our experience (and I think you all probably too) has been that selecting a builder early in the process and not on a numbers basis can sometimes yield what Ava Abramovitz (who was my professional practice teacher, but I've recently gotten back in touch with her) calls “front end alignment.”
Because if you're on the same page with a builder, if you've selected them early in the process, if you've gone through whatever process you need to go through to find them, they can help you align your scope and your budget from the get-go, as opposed to waiting and selecting somebody based on a hard number that they're giving you with a bid.
And when you get that bid and what's constituting that bid and whether that's an apples to apples bid, that's all good questions and there's certainly a good process that can go along with that. But we have found, and we encourage our clients to select a builder with an RFQ, like a qualifications process very early before you even have drawings to price. You may have a scope set so they kind of know what the project is going to be and how long it's going to take them.
But we encourage clients (and I know you all do this too) to ask them questions, like “How long do you think this is going to take? Can you give me five references of people that you've worked with on projects like this before?” And I encourage them to call them, find out: Did the job go over budget? By how much? Why?
And then some people have things that they really want their builders to do. We had one client who was like, “I'm out of town a bunch, but I really want my builder to be comfortable with my dog and feeding my dog in the morning (chuckles).” So, that was a question we asked the builders at the very beginning of the project.
And somebody was like, “Heck no, that's not what we do.” Well, we could cross them off the list. And it was no harm, no foul and nobody had invested a lot of time in putting together a set of numbers. It's an interview process.
So, that's a really convoluted way of saying that — and our experience has been - that alignment at the beginning of a project, figuring out and getting that team together from the get go as opposed to making a selection based on numbers when the pressure is to select somebody that is the least expensive.
Sheri Scott (06:41):
Yeah, I agree, Taylor. There was a lot in there, but (laughs)-
Taylor Davis (06:44):
Yeah, it was totally a lot. And I didn't know quite how to say that in a snack, but that was …
Sheri Scott (06:49):
No, it all came together, and I totally agree. I mean, touching on the timing piece of it, we do the same thing. So, what we recommend, when people do come to us first as the architect, they come in and one of the questions we ask is, “Do you already have a builder? Have you already talked to someone? Have you worked with someone before?”
And we start kind of educating them of okay, yes, you do have a builder. But the project that they did for you before may not be similar to the project you're asking them to do now. Could they be qualified? Yes. But let's broaden that scope, let's open it up to other people.
Like Marilyn said, we'll have people that we have worked with before, if they don't have anyone, I always encourage the client to find someone through their network, through their friends and family, find one on your own that we can talk to. Number one, because I don't want to be the one that brings one builder to the table and say, “This is the guy for you” because it may not be-
Taylor Davis (08:00):
We don't do that.
Marilyn Moedinger (08:01):
Yeah, we don't do that.
Sheri Scott (08:02):
We don't know.
Marilyn Moedinger (08:03):
We're not supposed to. My insurance guy’s like, “Don't do that.” Because we don't actually recommend builders, we just say these are the guys who have done good work for us in the past.”
Sheri Scott (08:14):
And the timing aspect, doing it early, I agree. I think the world has changed in our profession where it used to be we would select everything, get a whole set of construction documents done, be ready for permit, and then solicit bids from three builders. That has all turned upside down, I think for the better.
So, now, we do a preliminary design, is what we call it (some people call it schematic design). And once we have that, then we take that. So, you have something on paper to go and sit in front of the builder and put out on the table and say, “What's your timeline for something like this? Have you done something like this before? What's kind of a ballpark range of price that we're looking at?”
And from those three questions, we can quickly eliminate or say, okay, let's talk a little bit more, let's walk down this road together a little bit more. And through two, maybe three interviews, you get a sense of who you can work well with, after calling their references, of course.
That's one of the big downfalls people do. They don't want to do that work and call the references. But Taylor, you're right, my big question I would ask builders is how did they finish your project? Because finishing is the hardest stage.
Marilyn Moedinger (09:40):
That’s the hardest part, yeah.
Sheri Scott (09:41):
It's so hard. And just to find out how did they finish, did it wrap up quickly? Did they keep lists? Did they keep you informed, or did it kind of drag out and got a bunch of excuses like pulling teeth to get the subs back? That's a big question that I try to direct people to, and yes, doing it early in the process.
Marilyn Moedinger (10:03):
I mean, I agree with what all you guys are saying. Unsurprisingly, we're pretty aligned on this because we've seen the results of when it goes right and when it goes wrong. And Sheri, you just said people are not willing to do the work of calling the references, I'm like, “You are about to spend the most money on anything you buy.”
A renovation or a new home is pretty much, for most people, the most expensive thing that they're ever going to buy. And you're going to do that after a 10-minute conversation with the builder because he has a good handshake? No, we're not doing that, that's foolhardy.
It does not mean that you have to be suspicious or unkind or whatever.
So, I used to be a project manager at a general contractor. I used to be a construction estimator and I'm going to put that hat on for a second and say from the other side, when I was the one getting selected.
Sheri Scott (11:00):
Yeah, that's great.
Marilyn Moedinger (11:01):
So, first of all, I want to say that people should trust their gut. So, yes, check references, yes, do the work, but also, you are picking up all kinds of nonverbal cues. Does the builder look in your eye? Do they have that firm handshake? I know I just made that joke, but that matters.
Are they respecting what you're saying? Are they listening to you? Are they just responding to your questions with something that feels like a rote response, or are they really listening and taking it in and working with you on a response?
So, it's your intuition is collecting all this information and that takes a couple of interviews, as you're saying Sheri. So, people's body language and that kind of thing. Which leads me to another thing.
So, when I was learning how to be a project manager, an estimator, my boss at the contractor's company, he said, “You have to tell the client you want the job. You have to want to do the job because it's going to make you do a better job as a contractor.”
And if you're sort of against some other builders in a bidding process, you have to … it’s someone's home. You're about to engage with them in a process that's highly personal, that's deeply complex and requires a lot of communication, you have to want to do it.
So, from the flip side, if you're interviewing builders and they seem laissez-faire, they seem like, eh, or this is what we always do and whatever, you're just a number, then that's not good. And then the flip side of that is true. So, the other big thing I always say is if your builder is telling you exactly what you want to hear, that is not good.
So, if you say, “I want to build a new home and I want it to be 10,000 square feet, and I want an indoor pool and I want all this stuff, and I want to build it for $20,000.” And your builder says, “Well, it's going to be tough, but we'll figure out a way-”
Sheri Scott (13:02):
“I think we can do that.”
Marilyn Moedinger (13:05):
No. And obviously, I'm using a silly example, but that means your builder is going to do that to you the whole time and not tell you the actual facts. So, sometimes guys will … well I say, guys, I was a contractor, I'm not a guy-
Sheri Scott (13:19):
I know (laughs), I was thinking that.
Marilyn Moedinger (13:21):
I always do that. I don’t know — one of the guys, whatever, will try to just please the owner to get the job, to get in the door, to lowball it, to tell them what they want to hear, to get in the door. You do not want to work with someone like that. We've all been down that road.
And so, as an owner, as a homeowner, you do have to be ready for some news that may not be precisely what you wanted to hear, but in the end, will be the information you need to make better decisions.
Sheri Scott (13:49):
Well, and you need to know that it's false (laughs), and most clients don't know what they don't know, which we've heard over and over in this podcast interviewing guests. And that is one thing that we can bring to the table, is we'd walk away from that meeting and say that that didn't sound right to me. Like those allowances they put in that list, that's not realistic from what you are actually wanting, and you need someone to know that.
And if you as the client, if you know that, you've done so much research that you know how much your countertops for the entire house should cost, and they're giving you a realistic number, that's great. But most people don't know that. And so, they just kind of trust their builder and they say, “Okay, you gave me a $5,000 allowance for countertops, that sounds like a lot.” Well, it's not (laughs) that is not even close.
Marilyn Moedinger (14:47):
No, that's for your vanity in the half bath.
Sheri Scott (14:50):
Yes. And that's how they get in in that price range that you want, and then all of a sudden, you're in the build, you're married, and they say, “Oh, I didn't know you didn't want laminate countertops. Well, yeah, that's going to be $40,000, not $5,000.”
Taylor Davis (15:07):
Well, and that goes back to the select your builder before you … we encourage them not to select a builder based on price at all. We only have one person, one GC, do preliminary pricing. And generally, that has worked really well.
There've been a couple of hiccups in places where people's expectations were off, but what we've found, especially in a smaller market — and that's probably not true in Boston, but in a smaller market like this, there's a limited number of subs.
They're all using a lot of the same guys. You're going to get what you get regardless. It's going to cost the same regardless of who you use. The issue is going to be how it's going to get done, whether you like the people that are in your house and in your business and you showing up in a bathrobe in the morning and all of a sudden, they're there ready to get started, you have to like these people and trust these people.
And that's why that interview process and doing it without the pressure of numbers, I think is so critical, particularly for residential because it is not transactional, it is personal. It is up in everybody's business, up in everybody's lives for like a year. You got to like those people and trust them.
Marilyn Moedinger (16:20):
I agree. And I'm going to put a slight counterpoint because we do use cost to help us determine. I've had situations where the builders sort of all think that because where the house is or who they think the client is, that they think that they can just skate with a high number or they're not understanding the project. So, they're either overcharging or undercharging for key things.
And this is probably coming from my background in estimating, I kind of can't stand it. And we'll do another episode where we dive into how to compare estimates and how to compare budgets and costs and all that. That's a whole other topic, but just to say in a short way, that I do think it is actually important.
I am always looking for my clients to feel the enthusiastic yes. Whether that is the builder they chose, the tile they chose, the way we're doing the project — I want them to feel really good about it because as we get through the project, things get tough. And so, if you are leaning on a wobbly “yes,” you're going to start doubting yourself.
So, when there's only one price and there's nothing to compare it to, in my experience, the owners always have it in the back of their mind, especially in a competitive market like Boston, that they could have gotten a better deal.
So, my job is to coach people to do that just enough to get reassurance because there are guys that will be twice as expensive in Boston. There just are, and there will be in central Pennsylvania where I am here, I have seen it.
So, what I want to be sure is that the clients have that sense of security that yes, we've done our homework, we're not hard bidding it, we're not doing a closed bid, we're not doing that level of formality; we're doing it on that early set that you were describing Sheri, and we pick a horse and then we go.
But we do want that gut check price, not only to choose the builder, but also to ensure that our design is pointed in the right direction. We want to be sure that we're also not going down a design road that even though we have a good idea of prices, some things are surprising, and we want to be sure that we get that early gut check.
Taylor Davis (18:36):
And that gut check is important. I think that's a market thing too. Depending on what market you're in, if you've got a huge market or a big market, around here, it's going to be the same 5 to 10 builders that are doing that work at least in our market. So, I think there is a little bit of the size of the market and how many people, how many builders are available to you to select from.
Marilyn Moedinger (19:01):
And personality. So, if an owner is … and this is where I have to pull back on owners, where they get really nickel-and-dimey, and they're like, “Well, but this one said countertops were $10,000, this one said it was $9,500,” and I'm like, “This is a preliminary, just stop, just stop.”
Sheri Scott (19:19):
We're not holding them to it.
Marilyn Moedinger (19:20):
Set your pencil down. What we're looking for is, does someone grasp the concept of the project? Are we within plus or minus 10 or 15%? That's what we're looking at here.
Sheri Scott (19:32):
I think we need to wrap this up, but I do want to say one last point is to ask the builder if they will bid alternate subs against each other. I mean, that's bad language to use, but just a quick example, we have a project and the numbers are crazy I know, but we're doing this huge front door that's double doors, like 10 feet by, I think it's 15 feet tall, which is a very custom door.
So, the builder went to the custom door builder that he usually uses, got a bid of literally a hundred thousand dollars, got him down to $80,000, went to a more commercial custom door builder and they said $30,000. So, these prices can be everywhere, and you need to make sure that this builder is willing when you get a number that's like that doesn't sound right, will they go to somebody else.
Marilyn Moedinger (20:31):
And is on your side working for you to get that number to make sense. Because that's ultimately what you want, is someone who's on your side, one who's building your house.
Alright, well thank you for joining us today on Home: The second Story for a quick snack. Questions for us or topics you'd like to see us cover, or are you interested in being a guest, please reach out at admin@htsspodcast.com, and we'll see you next time.
[Music Playing]
Voiceover (20:59):
Thanks for listening to Home: The Second Story Podcast. Feel free to share this episode with a friend. Contact information for all three of our architects are in our show notes and don't miss future episodes. Follow or subscribe to our show for free in Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening right now.